Last month I said something about fear and how one should avoid some of the fears that stop’s one from growing. Here are my thoughts on what I think about it now.
As I tried that method I realised there are some fears that needs a lot of time and preparation to face and maybe even sometimes help from a trusted person. And there is this other kind of fear that you get addicted to, addicted to how it makes you feel and how it cripples under your skin every time you feel the fear rising. That is the kind of fear I was talking about in my earlier post. In this one month I tried my best to give my that kind of fear words or a voice. But I have to say it was one of the most of difficult thing I have done for myself.
What I did was, when every time I felt the fear rising I wrote the time, what I did earlier and all the possible points of how it could lead to wake my fear. At the beginning it felt stupid and I couldn’t get myself to write it or say it out loud but within couple of weeks I got the grip of it and I was writing and recording smoothly. I started seeing a pattern of thoughts, situations and habits that lead my fears to come up. After knowing this I confronted myself and my fears. As I was doing this I felt my heart tighten and my whole body sweaty and I let myself imagine the worst possible thing that could happen to me. This was the turning point for me as I imagined the worst, I felt less scared and reasoned with myself about how much will be the possibility of something like that to happen and it was less than 10 percent. After doing this couple of times I felt better each time but in a funny way I felt empty, I felt like I am missing something. Then I realised I have been addicted to my fear. As it is with every addiction I let myself find a substitute and I am still looking for it. I wouldn’t say I am completely over my fear but I feel more comfortable and I am not afraid to confront it.
„We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light“. Plato
Everyone preaches not running away from your fears. I have heard it from so many well-wishing sources that you have to go face your fears, not turn your back on them. Yes, that is absolutely true according to me. But there is also a whole bunch of stuff you ought to turn your back on. See, fear is like a demon on your shoulder that gets more and more powerful the more you ignore it. But there are other demons on ankles – anxiety, insecurities, counterproductive thoughts, boxed patterns of behaviour, clingy painful memories, constricting rules, stupid comparisons, expectations – yours and others, symbols and signs that you create, self-doubt, judgments etc. and most importantly your ego. All these demons grow with attention. The more you pay attention to them, the stronger they get, they expand, bloat and magnify and ultimately make you trip and sometimes they grow so big that they block your view of the future, blinding you from the path ahead and the task at hand. Most often, you can tell when something is pulling you back. So instead of stopping and letting the quicksand suck you in, walk away. I am definitely going to experiment with this realization, I urge you to try as well.
Is empathy a blessing or a curse?
According to the Wikipedia empathy is the experience of understanding another person’s condition from their perspective. You place yourself in their shoes and feel what they are feeling.
Is empathy a blessing or a curse? I have questioned this myself many times in life. I have felt weak and like an idiot for feeling other people pain so much. I know it is a good trait to have but sometimes I really can’t draw a line between someone else sadness and my sadness. For example if a friend is going through something and they come and tell me I will be thinking about their problem for days and feel equally sad or whatever emotion they are feeling and will try to find solutions and ways to make them feel better. I catch up energies really fast.
I don’t know when I started to be so empathetic or was I always like this but one thing is for sure it can be a blessing and a curse. Blessing in a way when I see or hear someone else problem, I am grateful that I am not going through that or if I ever go through it, I know what I will do. Curse in a way that I suffer and suffer for the fact that a loved one is going through that, they might even get over that pain but I will be thinking about it for longer than they might even think about it. I forget the fact that we all have to go through our share of pain and experiences in life.
I would say balance is really important and I always remind myself that whatever happens in our life, happens for a reason.
Thank you for reading and feel free to comment and share!
Does age define friendship? All my life I have had friends who were much older than me. Friends who could be my mother or father but I never felt weird or out of place with them. Strangely they did…
Source: Does age define friendship
Does age define friendship?
All my life I have had friends who were much older than me. Friends who could be my mother or father but I never felt weird or out of place with them. Strangely they didn’t felt that way either. I always got the compliments like “you are way mature than your age” or “you have an old soul”.
I have had all those older friends coming to me taking advice or just talking to me about their adult problems. I have learned so much from them and have transformed me in an inspiring way that I would never change it at any cost. Things that I have learned from my older friends:
- Lesson from their life experience
- Classical music from different countries
- About the culture and tradition
- How to deal with my own stress
- Aiming for something
Even when I was in school I was the youngest among all of my mates except my best friend who was the only friend same as my age. Sometimes when I think about my school days and my best friend I feel like I have lived a long life time already. I miss those days and my best friend. She is married now and has a baby and is quiet happy and busy with her life. We try to keep in touch but it’s not like before.
Now in my early 20’s I got to know two amazing souls who is one year older than me S. and another wonderful soul who is three years younger than me N.
This is my first time been friends with someone younger than me. It hasn’t been long that I got to know N but this Girl is just so amazing and reminds me of my younger self. She is kind of a person whom I can rely on when I am feeling down and when I am overly excited about something. We talk about almost anything in this world and nothing is weird for us. She is like the younger sister that I never had; sometimes I get overly protective of her and annoy her lot. There are things that I have learned from my younger friend as well.
- Not all young people are silly and immature
- Openness towards life
- New experiences
- Laughing endlessly on weird things
- Don’t be so harsh on yourself
I think life is beautiful journey with all its ups and downs. It changes us all the time. What remain are all those beautiful and not so beautiful memories with you. I don’t know where I would be in 10 years and where will N be, but I hope she and all my other friends live happy and healthy lives.
Feel free to share and comment. Thank you for reading!
What does strong means, according to the dictionary:
Forceful on the senses
These are all definition of strong according to any standard dictionary. But what does society, culture, traditions and world says about it?
My grandmothers were and my mother, my aunts, my sisters and my nieces are all strong women. I hope my daughter/s will also become strong woman.
I have couple of different views and opinions of a strong woman. I interpret the question as not being about physical strength. In case of strong character, I think a strong woman is basically the same as a strong man maybe a bit more emotionally. But often it is just that strong character in a woman is often negatively perceived by the society, vs a man with the same exact behavior. The society pressure can be cruel and manipulative. Families, by the way are the tentacles of the society that reach closest to us. The society has been inflicting anxieties on women (as if we already don’t have them!) since the times of Adam and Eve: “what if I am not a perfect wife; mother, daughter, friend, home-maker, etc..? while men are typically allowed freedom of single-minded pursuit of whatever they feel will make them happy – e.g., career, money, status (i.e., they can spend 12-14 hours in the office and not be penalized for not spending more time with their children), woman at the same time are frequently held back by society simply by instilling in their heads that they somehow failed if they did the same thing. I am not saying that woman should start acting like men or ignore their families all I am saying is being fair and stop categorizing woman as a weaker gender.
If women were not so strong and forgiving, human race would have died long time ago.
Therefore, my definition of a strong character woman is that she is just as strong as a man, and in addition does not give a flying damn about what society believes her character to be.
Feel free to share and comment. Thank you for reading.. 😊
What really pisses me off is that depression is a curable illness with the help of loved ones and medicine/therapy/doctors but since it’s a taboo topic nobody talks about it or seeks help. I am talking more about countries like Afghanistan and other Asian countries not that western countries have improved completely either.
You might be thinking what am I talking about, why wouldn’t somebody seek help when they are suffering?! So let me explain. The culture in countries like Afghanistan, Honduras and the Palestine is very different and to some extend goes over my head because I don’t get it. Mental illnesses are often categorized as a failing of the individual or his or her family, so it seems impolite to most people to talk about it.
So the culture in the countries like this is that having a depression means you are ungrateful, lazy and attention seeker. Basically depression is not seen as a “real” illness but a personality defect and because of that people keep their illness as secret. I am not blaming anyone here because we all are victim of victims and they don’t know any better. What we can do is bring a change so that the next generation doesn’t suffer.
I can go on writing on this topic, because I have been in the midst of it and I know how it is. Maybe for some people it might have been different but for me and majority of people it was the same.
Soon I will be writing about women with depression in Asian countries and some steps to help out bring some change.
Have you or your loved ones suffered depression? What do you think about it?
Is there ever been a person in your life that had inspired you to do something or just astonished you with their achievements? Luckily I have come across many people like that and one of them would be Otto Höschle. He is the most self-motivated person I know.
I met him in 2014 and instantly I like him. He is a teacher writer and has had some really awesome life experiences. What I like the most is that I can speak with him in different languages.
Recently he has translated Oscar Wildes book “The Sphinx” in German. German is a really difficult language. I have to say I still struggle with German but Höschle has translated it in such a profound way that I am totally loving it.
I have some favourite poems in the Book that I will share soon with you guys.
So who has inspired you?
If you read the book or have already read it, please let me know what you think about it and share your ideas and comments in the comments below.